It is currently raining outside. As I sit and type this entry, I can hear it pound on my roof. I should probably mention that I am intensely afraid of thunderstorms. While quite aware of their beauty and grace, I still tremble at their sight. I once thought I would outgrow such a fear, but almost eighteen years later, the fear remains.
Some other things about the latest version of myself:
1. I am obsessed with the song, "Re: Stacks" by Bon Iver right now. The song itself is moving and amazingly poignant. It has made me think more and more about what makes a song great, worth listening to at all. The answer that I currently believe to be true is that a good song makes you want to understand it, wraps you in its arms and asks you to join it. A song is like a person constantly in motion, on a journey. A good song compels you to join it on that journey.
2. I've been thinking almost constantly about college. I'm terrified...plain and simple. It scares me to move, make new friends, and start over. However, the thing that scares me the most is that I have to reformulate relationships with everyone in my life right now. I have to make new friends of course. It's a natural part of life. But, I have no clue how to change the relationships with the people in my life right now. Where are the boundaries? Who wants to move on completely? Who wants to remain? I just don't know where to begin and where to end.
3. I'm turning eighteen on Friday, and I am dreading it. I don't want to be forward about it because it should be a happy occasion, but I just don't want to grow up, as cheesy as that may sound. Being eighteen means more responsibility and more pressures, many of which I am not sure that I am ready to take on. I guess that is part of the adventure.
That's all for now.
Good night moon